Season 1 Episode 11 – Tom’s Rhinoplasty
Season 1 Episode 11 – Tom’s
Rhinoplasty
Mr. Garrison gets a nose job, while the
substitute teacher Ms. Ellen has the attention of all the boys.
Original Airdate
11th February 1998
Guest Stars
Natasha Henstridge as Ms. Ellen
(credited as The Chick from Species)
Featured Music
- No Substitute (original music)
- Shadow Dancing by Andy Gibb (1978)
Character Debuts
- Ms. Ellen
Synopsis
Valentine’s Day is here again, and even
the young ones are onto it, and the boys have a major crush on their substitute
teacher. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison decides he needs nose surgery, but it becomes
overwhelming for him.
Kenny's Death
Stabbed by Ms. Ellen when she’s
confronted by the Iraqis, Stan and Kyle actually acknowledge she killed him.
My Thoughts Back Then
At
the time I first saw this, I did have a crush on at least one chick my age, but
I was nowhere near ready for a relationship. I’m sure I’d have found a real
life Ms. Ellen hot though, at 13, when I first saw this back in 2004, on video
from the video shop. I didn’t know who David Hasselhoff was back then either,
having my first real introduction to him in the Spongebob Squarepants film at
year’s end.
My Thoughts Now
Someone’s
coming, thanks Indian Companion! And Trey still can’t fire those guns… We start
in the classroom, where Cartman keeps laughing at Stan and Wendy’s Valentine’s
Day ideas, to the point where he falls out of his chair – couldn’t help but
laughing myself haha! Principal Victoria then comes in to tell the class that
Mr. Garrison is going on extended leave, as he needs surgery – much cheers from
the audience! Reminds me of how my class would have reacted if our Year 5
teacher, Miss Campbell, went on leave. I didn’t notice the tear gas back then
either.
Ms.
Ellen, the substitute, comes in, and all the boys are in love with her – there
were some hot teachers at my high school, I can tell you that 😉 Wendy, however, knows something is up, and Stan
vomits TWICE when Ms. Ellen is talking to him. Mr. Garrison decides he wants to
look like David Hasselhoff, complete with a full remodel of his head. Herbert Hasselhoff? I'd say David Garrison, but that name's already taken (Married... with Children fans know why)
Chef
wants to know about the new teacher (naturally), while Wendy and Bebe are sad –
Wendy noticed a longer left eye than her right, and a mole with a hair growing
out of it. The boys go to buy her Valentine’s gifts, and Wendy is feeling
rejected, while a montage of Stan and Wendy to date (less than a season in) plays
– no sepia/monochrome though, but a LOT of vomiting! Note the closeup on Ms.
Ellen’s bottom when we’re back in class.
Bebe
tells the boys to grow up “and act like 8 year olds”, and Mr. Garrison hasn’t
even told his class multiplication! Proof he IS a bad teacher… Chef’s got a
song for Ms. Ellen, there’s no substitute for her 😉 The things that go over a 13 year old’s head.
Mr.
Garrison’s operation is all done, and he looks like he’s been beaten up in a
football game, and vomits more than Stan has in the entire series to date.
Wendy asks to talk to Ms. Ellen alone, and accuses her of stealing Stan, and
tells her to stay away from him. Even Kenny bought Ms. Ellen a gift – a
“sausage”. Wendy bought her a dead animal, and Cartman ate his gift to Ms.
Ellen… Cartman wishes he was smart for once!
Stan
DOESN’T VOMIT when Wendy talks to him at lunch – is their romance dead? She
shouts in the cafeteria, and the entire room hears her. Chef struck out,
apparently Ms. Ellen is a lesbian, and the boys think they can be lesbians… and
Cartman starts licking carpet.
Mr.
Garrison is… DAVID HASSELHOFF! And he’s loving his new look, getting
compliments from all the chicks, and decides to become a model, quitting
teaching, whilst most of the class celebrates his departure, Wendy and Bebe do
not. Wendy’s makeover, complete with black leather and a fag in her hand
(obviously stolen from her parents), also did not do its job in wooing Stan
back to her – it was Bebe’s idea. Oh, and Wendy’s grandmother died
Mr.
Garrison is soon overwhelmed by his newfound attention, and can’t get the
chicks off him! He’s got enough birds to fill an aviary! Desperate, he wants to
change back, this scene reminds me of the time an usherette followed my best
friend and I into the cinema when I was 25, and I didn’t know what to say to
her – dang! Stan goes on dinner with Ms. Ellen, not knowing how love works, and
Wendy thinks it’s all over…
The
next day, a batallion of Iraqi men break into the classroom with swords, and
make a claim that Ms. Ellen is really Maqesh Alaq Makaraqesh from Iraq, and is
a fugitive. Principal Victoria discovers what’s gone on, and orders Ms. Ellen
to be taken away, she’s then strapped to a rocket and launched towards the sun.
Not before she kills Kenny!
Wendy
and Bebe enjoy a pool party at Wendy’s house, and watch the last of Ms. Ellen
as she gets grilled by the Sun. One more thing – DON’T… F**K… WITH… WENDY…
TESTABURGER!!!!!
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