Season 1 Episode 11 – Tom’s Rhinoplasty

 

Season 1 Episode 11 – Tom’s Rhinoplasty

 

Mr. Garrison gets a nose job, while the substitute teacher Ms. Ellen has the attention of all the boys.

Original Airdate

11th February 1998

Guest Stars

Natasha Henstridge as Ms. Ellen (credited as The Chick from Species)

Featured Music

  • No Substitute (original music)
  • Shadow Dancing by Andy Gibb (1978)

Character Debuts

  • Ms. Ellen

Synopsis

Valentine’s Day is here again, and even the young ones are onto it, and the boys have a major crush on their substitute teacher. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison decides he needs nose surgery, but it becomes overwhelming for him.

Kenny's Death

Stabbed by Ms. Ellen when she’s confronted by the Iraqis, Stan and Kyle actually acknowledge she killed him.

My Thoughts Back Then

At the time I first saw this, I did have a crush on at least one chick my age, but I was nowhere near ready for a relationship. I’m sure I’d have found a real life Ms. Ellen hot though, at 13, when I first saw this back in 2004, on video from the video shop. I didn’t know who David Hasselhoff was back then either, having my first real introduction to him in the Spongebob Squarepants film at year’s end.

My Thoughts Now

Someone’s coming, thanks Indian Companion! And Trey still can’t fire those guns… We start in the classroom, where Cartman keeps laughing at Stan and Wendy’s Valentine’s Day ideas, to the point where he falls out of his chair – couldn’t help but laughing myself haha! Principal Victoria then comes in to tell the class that Mr. Garrison is going on extended leave, as he needs surgery – much cheers from the audience! Reminds me of how my class would have reacted if our Year 5 teacher, Miss Campbell, went on leave. I didn’t notice the tear gas back then either.

Ms. Ellen, the substitute, comes in, and all the boys are in love with her – there were some hot teachers at my high school, I can tell you that 😉 Wendy, however, knows something is up, and Stan vomits TWICE when Ms. Ellen is talking to him. Mr. Garrison decides he wants to look like David Hasselhoff, complete with a full remodel of his head. Herbert Hasselhoff? I'd say David Garrison, but that name's already taken (Married... with Children fans know why)

Chef wants to know about the new teacher (naturally), while Wendy and Bebe are sad – Wendy noticed a longer left eye than her right, and a mole with a hair growing out of it. The boys go to buy her Valentine’s gifts, and Wendy is feeling rejected, while a montage of Stan and Wendy to date (less than a season in) plays – no sepia/monochrome though, but a LOT of vomiting! Note the closeup on Ms. Ellen’s bottom when we’re back in class.

Bebe tells the boys to grow up “and act like 8 year olds”, and Mr. Garrison hasn’t even told his class multiplication! Proof he IS a bad teacher… Chef’s got a song for Ms. Ellen, there’s no substitute for her 😉 The things that go over a 13 year old’s head.

Mr. Garrison’s operation is all done, and he looks like he’s been beaten up in a football game, and vomits more than Stan has in the entire series to date. Wendy asks to talk to Ms. Ellen alone, and accuses her of stealing Stan, and tells her to stay away from him. Even Kenny bought Ms. Ellen a gift – a “sausage”. Wendy bought her a dead animal, and Cartman ate his gift to Ms. Ellen… Cartman wishes he was smart for once!

Stan DOESN’T VOMIT when Wendy talks to him at lunch – is their romance dead? She shouts in the cafeteria, and the entire room hears her. Chef struck out, apparently Ms. Ellen is a lesbian, and the boys think they can be lesbians… and Cartman starts licking carpet.

Mr. Garrison is… DAVID HASSELHOFF! And he’s loving his new look, getting compliments from all the chicks, and decides to become a model, quitting teaching, whilst most of the class celebrates his departure, Wendy and Bebe do not. Wendy’s makeover, complete with black leather and a fag in her hand (obviously stolen from her parents), also did not do its job in wooing Stan back to her – it was Bebe’s idea. Oh, and Wendy’s grandmother died

Mr. Garrison is soon overwhelmed by his newfound attention, and can’t get the chicks off him! He’s got enough birds to fill an aviary! Desperate, he wants to change back, this scene reminds me of the time an usherette followed my best friend and I into the cinema when I was 25, and I didn’t know what to say to her – dang! Stan goes on dinner with Ms. Ellen, not knowing how love works, and Wendy thinks it’s all over…

The next day, a batallion of Iraqi men break into the classroom with swords, and make a claim that Ms. Ellen is really Maqesh Alaq Makaraqesh from Iraq, and is a fugitive. Principal Victoria discovers what’s gone on, and orders Ms. Ellen to be taken away, she’s then strapped to a rocket and launched towards the sun. Not before she kills Kenny!

Wendy and Bebe enjoy a pool party at Wendy’s house, and watch the last of Ms. Ellen as she gets grilled by the Sun. One more thing – DON’T… F**K… WITH… WENDY… TESTABURGER!!!!!

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